another layer of armor

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I don’t know when I got scared
Scared of my imagination
Used to see beautiful things
Now I got this sick fixation

I’m playing out every single fear I’ve ever had
Scrolling through the pictures, seeing all I don’t have
Believing every negative feeling is a fact
I don’t wanna get used to that

Why do I beat myself up and tear myself down?
I’m so good at being critical
I guess I’ll learn it’s hard to get hurt
When you’re good at being cynical

I’m jealous of when I was young
And everything was right there waiting
Wanted the sky, aimed so high
Instead of lowering my expectations

I don’t know how else to keep my feet on the ground
And stop the voices in my head from getting too loud
I think I’m realizing no one figures it out
And I gotta get used to that

Why do I beat myself up and tear myself down?
I’m so good at being critical
I guess I’ll learn it’s hard to get hurt
When you’re good at being cynical

If I hope and it doesn’t work, then
I know, it’s gonna hurt, so I’ll
Make a joke, act like nothing wrong
And put another layer of armor on

Why do I beat myself up and tear myself down?
~ Katelyn Tarver – Cynical

tableau idtty

hair: Tableau Vivant \ BunB*tch [Add-on+HB]
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.2
eyes: -SU!- [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Astrid Eyes (Fatpack)
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [Glam Affair] Mara Skin [ Lelutka ] @ C88

lashes: MICHAN – Lilith Lashes Fatpack [Lel EVO] @ TLC
eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA DEJA VU COLLECTION #4 @ Black Fair
lipstick: IDTTY FACES –  LELUTKA DEJA VU COLLECTION #8 @ Black Fair

Apocalyptic – Awakening the eye black @ Belle
(Yummy) Cleopatra Nose Ring – Silver
Kibitz – Leove’s earrings
SU!– Almond Nails

pose: GingerFish Poses – Doll Face

backdrop: No Show – Black Vibes – The Bearded Guy

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