I absolutely love how people say they’re tired of all the bullshit on the grid and how they want people to be more honest, but at the end of the day they only really want the truth they want to hear. They don’t want the whole truth. I have apologized for hurting people’s feelings with the truth, but I will never apologize for being honest. I am trying to just keep my mouth shut and let people ramble senselessly about their issues for which they clearly want not resolution, but its hard to listen to someone talk about such toxic behaviors as if its a sporting event. I wonder if they know how they sound or that people are literally rolling their eyes the minute they begin to speak about certain subjects? Are they so self absorbed they don’t really care, because they’re more interested in having an audience?
These are the questions that occur to me as I listen to the broken records and instructions for self-destruction from some of the people in my life. I can only imagine the sorts of thoughts they all have about me. I’m pretty sure I’ve become the person that is such a downer most of my friends have quit reaching out for a damn good reason. I can’t say I blame them. Dare I say it? I’ve become….cringes…emo. Ugh. Easy for me to sit in my pool of self loathing and point the fingers at those around me. Damn…we need to pull it together. How did we let ourselves get here?