Marathon of Possibilities

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I have a tendency run a complete marathon of possibilities in my head with just about everything. It doesn’t matter if its something I’m excited about or something that scares me. So, if I meet a guy and everything is falling into place, I’m quick to think of all the ways this could work out in good ways, all while waiting for the penny to drop. I make myself absolutely crazy doing this. As I continue my therapy and learning to be mindful, I have been trying really hard not to do this. As it often leads to very hurt feelings for which I have no one to blame but myself. Listen, I’m trying, okay?
So, recently I met someone that has already made some serious improvements to my life. I ran the marathon, of course, and I got excited. Alas, real life has gotten in the way of my virtual dreams and the penny has officially dropped. HOWEVER, I’m super pleased with myself this go round, because I did not fall apart or feel that sense of devastation when the penny dropped. I just accepted the situation for what it is and have decided to just make the most of it. This person offered me some tools that work with my therapy tools and I’m hopeful about my own personal plan for a change. So, I’ve grabbed that silver lining by the tail and I am holding on for dear life. I don’t know how much time I have left on this planet, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to just give up. I’ve survived far too much to let life hold me down now.

Little Fox

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